I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
