I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
