found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
