As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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