She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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