If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
