Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
