Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize