I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
