Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
