My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
