Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
