All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize