it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
