i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
