i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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