Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
