something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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