tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
