So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize