my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
