so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize