He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
