I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize