that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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