your room smells of hookers.
And success
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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