i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
