Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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