Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize