YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
