Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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