In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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