We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
