Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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