the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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