Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize