He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she told me i tasted like america
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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