I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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