i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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