I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
