Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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