I've blown a few things in my day
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
