Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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