It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
