her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
