im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
