ugly people sure do ruin things
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
