i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Holy sore nipples Batman
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
