Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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