make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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