Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
