Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize