Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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