Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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