i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
