i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
