My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Come see our sink grown plant.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
