dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it hurts more in the daytime
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
