i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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