She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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