On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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