I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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