Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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