Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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