at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
