I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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