i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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