1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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