I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
