you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
smell my finger.
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He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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