I want to stick my p in your. b.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
